LAST STRAWS: Small things that tip you over

Today a very small thing broke me down to tears.

Not really a measured, rational, or appropriate response to the issue at hand but a clear red flag indication of depleted resources and frayed edges.

The years have developed an enlarged capacity to cope with complex problems.

Which is not necessarily a good thing because it can also be a blindspot, at the expense of myself.

Resilience is a vital survival trait, like pain tolerance; the more you face and overcome, a greater capacity develops to adapt and push through as necessary.

BUT it is damaging to live permanently in this mode.

Weeks of late nights, endless talks, emails, phonecalls, problem solving...

Absorbing,

Pushing through,

Standing,

Holding on,

Pressing in,

Praying....

Gradually yet silently reducing immunity until a tiny extra milligram additional weight tips the balance.

Plunging right over the edge.

Down!

Reality check of the true state.

Surviving not thriving,

Coping but not living.

TIME OUT!

Sleep.

Hide.

Breathe.

Cry.

Listen.

Self care is not self indulgent.

Peace is necessary.

Mandated.

Shalom means wholeness!

Completeness.

Restoration.

Without it we remain broken and distorted.

'Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way.'

2 Thessalonians 3:16