THE GREAT DISMANTLE: Facing my midlife crisis

I thought it was a midlife crisis gradually unravelling as I approached my 40th birthday!

Everything was shifting within.

Interior repositioning.

Two friends separately likened it to metamorphosis; a Greek word that means transformation or change in shape.

I researched how a caterpillar digests itself, releasing enzymes to dissolve all of its tissues. A gruesome yet delicate self-destruction.

If you cut open a chrysalis amidst the dismantling, a gloopy melted soup will drip out from the shell; a perfect metaphor for my messy disintegration process.

Messy metamorphosis

My wilderness journey!

Without a map or compass, and no turning back.

I call it 'sitting in the unresolved';

Lessons of letting go, of not trying to 'fix it' or even understand it all.

Remain in the discomfort, the unanswered, and uncertainty.

Don't try to escape, navigate an exit or strategically plan a way out.

Sit in it.

Feel it.

Look at it.

Listen.

The cocoon may seem like a camouflage coffin.

It is no resting place!

Decommissioning is a hidden recycling.

Unseen miracles evolving in protection; Restructuring and regrowth.

Let go of the calendar....

Surrender.

There is no acceleration fast track.

Realignment and repurpose have their own timelines.

Transition is a movement from one place or season to another, but metamorphosis is a transformation completion.

Two years on and the light is finally breaking through.

I don't know yet what will emerge.....?