High Functioning Anxiety: From Over-Achiever to Peace

I didn't know that anxiety has a high-functioning category until I began training in counselling. I met myself on the pages of my textbook and was uncomfortable with the reality check.

High functioning over performance: My first attempt at a two tier birthday cake in tropical climate temperatures. The icing kept melting in the heat!

Externally, you may identify me as a highly organized, proactive, strategic, detail-oriented, and bordering overachiever. My kids laugh at the birthday parties I used to arrange with unique themed games, homemade decorations, character cakes, and creative gifts. I don't know what drove me to such craziness. I mostly remember these events as an exhausting marathon with a migraine afterwards!

I may have appeared successful, organized, passionate, and purposeful on the outside, but I could not enjoy the moments of life. The performance was applaudable, but behind the scenes backstage the over-achieving was a sign of dysfunction.

The Cues of Stress and Strain

The body is a source of information and cues. There were signs of stress and strain but I was failing to acknowledge or listen to the critical information beneath my skin. As a former dancer, I had wrongly learned to ignore or push through regardless of what my muscles and limbs were trying to tell me. I realised that I needed to relearn self-awareness. Not only to recognise the alarm bells but to learn how to respond and make changes to overcome over-performing.

How do I tell if I have High Functioning Anxiety?

Here is a list of some High Functioning Anxiety Symptoms:

Internal Struggles	Physical Symptoms	Performance Cues
Excessive worrying Overthinking Replaying thoughts, conversations and situations. Concern about letting others down Mentally fatigued Sensitive to criticism Frequently feel taken for granted	Muscle tension Headaches Migraines Loss of balance Excessive sweating Feeling lightheaded or blacking out. Stomach or digestive issues (intestinal discomfort) Increased heart rate Insomnia Sleep disturbance: waking up frequently Vivid and disturbed dreams Tingling feeling in fingers or toes General fatigue or feeling limbs are heavy	Overplanning Detail oriented Highly organized Overachiever Active (but difficulty switching off) Always available to help others Appear successful Proactive Hardworking Perform under pressure

The Show Must Stop Going On!

Over performance and high achieving is a characteristic of high functioning anxiety

A childhood on the stage trains the mind and body to practice and be prepared. The routine continues regardless of costume malfunctions, tonsillitis, or family problems at home.

Rehearsals push you into automatic pilot, allowing you to perform like a machine. Like riding a bike, the body knows the choreography and can immediately sync to any short phrase of music. This transforms rehearsal into art, as the focus shifts fully to performance and execution.

This became my silent enemy. I am well-rehearsed by life experiences and can adapt efficiently in a crisis, performing by default. In doing so, I gradually taught myself to carry on without thought and attention to my needs or unhealthy habits.

How to Overcome High-Functioning Anxiety

Here are four habits I have worked on to change, manage, and overcome high-functioning anxiety.

1. Stop the Replay Button

No one can hear the internal audio that secretly replays conversations and situations numerous times on repeat. It is difficult to locate the mute button as the sound resonates loudest when alone.

Overthinking is Mind Replay

Overthinking is when your thoughts replay in a continuous play-loop usually with significant and telling emotions attached. Overanalyzing and intrusive questions of self-doubt in the thought narrative are indications of a need to stop the replay.

Sort and Release

While there may not be an "off" switch the replay button does not need to be given the power of dominating thoughts and emotions. Letting it go is a decision with action. I choose to release and only retain and hold the necessary and valuable.

Sorting out thoughts and emotions is like recycling segregation. It is key to regulating high-functioning anxiety

This sorting and releasing process means separating the helpful thoughts and emotions from the unhelpful and damaging.

I prefer to treasure blessings and joy and discard the unhelpful worry and questions.

Sometimes it needs the help of others to find solutions and alternative perspectives.

2. Stop Preparing: Start Living

I am an organizer, which often manifests as being overprepared for every possible eventuality. While this trait can be an asset when strategy is necessary, it can also lead to a dysfunctional blind spot that misses the joy of living in the moment.

I began dismantling this shadow side by deliberately leaving behind items I would typically consider essential "just in case." I realized that relying on these items made me less capable of operating in an independent default mode.

Being present and enjoying living in the moment.

I discovered I was more dependent on myself than I was on trusting God. In moments of need, I must engage my brain and ingenuity to process situations as they unfold, rather than relying solely on my skills or default responses.

Living in the moment and embracing all it holds—including discomfort—requires a shift from preparing for future possibilities to appreciating the beauty of now. Preparation has its place, but it can also diminish the wonder of spontaneity and the magic of the unexpected.

Surprise is not an enemy; it is an opportunity to live without borders. It's no wonder God paired me with a spontaneous and unconventional life partner who keeps me from getting stuck in the ordinary and the false safety of the predictable.

Boundaries are limits we set to protect our emotional health, time, and wellbeing.

3. Start Saying NO!

Saying "no" and creating boundaries with accountability is the only way I have made gradual progress. I ask people to check in on me; I set a time limit for work and clearly state it aloud so I will finish at the right time (I am still working on this!). I also intentionally schedule and make space and time for things I enjoy.

As I have learned and practiced to stop diving into rescue mode I have enabled others to grow and discover untapped gifts and new experiences. This is maturity and leadership with wisdom. I have more grey hairs to prove it!

4. Awareness is a Powerful Prayer

Turning my awareness into prayer refocuses my perspective and grows new responses. I know I am not designed to operate on hyper-alert.

The things I imagine or wait for in expectation that 'could happen' are primarily in my mind and are a protective stress reaction response. I am designed to be connected and dependent on my creator rather than on my ability to survive or a perceived responsibility to protect others.

Prayer is the most powerful tool to overcome high-functioning anxiety

I offer a short prayer of recognition and sometimes confession when I recognise my body and mind moving into high-functioning anxiety. I pray until I feel a release in my spirit to breathe and relax or a greater sense of peace. I remind myself of truth which changes my thought narratives and repositions my expectations and focus towards God.

There is only one source of perfect peace.

Learning to trust HIM more increases my capacity to receive and share real peace!

"You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast because they trust in you." Isaiah 26:3

If you enjoyed this post or found it helpful please let me know in the comments!